Funny quotes drive

26 Funny drive quotes

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Drive like no one is watching.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025