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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

44 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Making waves on Reddit:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Just shared via TikTok:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Reported on X:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Making waves on Facebook:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Just shared via WeChat:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Just shared via Messenger:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Going viral on Instagram:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Home » Funny Drive Quotes

41 Funny drive quotes

Funny drive quotes 🚗💨 are the perfect way to add a dash of humor to your road trip playlist 🎵 or daily commute! Whether you’re navigating through traffic jams 🚦 or cruising down the open highway 🌅, these witty one-liners and puns can turn the wheel of boredom into laughter 🤣. So, buckle up and get ready for a ride filled with giggles and smiles as you discover the lighter side of hitting the road! 😄

New funny drive quotes 👇

20 hours ago
Share →: Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Commentary:
👀 When gas prices are high but the priorities remain… interesting 🚗💸
21 hours ago
Share →: She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Commentary:
Millennial superhero: Defender of the stick shift! 🚗🦸‍♀️✨
1 day ago
Share →: I drive like I’m immortal.

Commentary:
Driving like you're in a video game, where's the restart button? 🚗💥😄
2 days ago
Share →: I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Commentary:
Spinning in circles until I get dizzy or a ticket, whichever comes first! 🚓😂🔄
2 days ago
Share →: Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Commentary:
Looks like I've found my new designated barker! 🚗🐶🍻
3 days ago
Share →: Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Commentary:
Balancing between candle-lit dinners for one and launching a space mission to find someone who likes quiet… 🚀🍷😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Commentary:
Driving slow in the fast lane: the real retirement perk 😂🚗💨🕖
2 weeks ago
Share →: Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Commentary:
Eating every time the light turns red isn't technically fasting! 🚦🥐
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Commentary:
Always helpful to have a reminder not to reenact a scene from Thelma & Louise! 🚗💨🤣
2 weeks ago
Share →: Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Commentary:
"Next, they’ll add social media notifications to the road signs! 🙈🚗💥"

For even more funny drive quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny drive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

44 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Shared recently on Slack:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Making waves on Facebook:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Live now on Instagram:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

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