Commentary:
Driving slow in the fast lane: the real retirement perk 😂🚗💨🕖
45 Funny drive quotes
Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.
Commentary:
Eating every time the light turns red isn't technically fasting! 🚦🥐
I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.
Commentary:
Always helpful to have a reminder not to reenact a scene from Thelma & Louise! 🚗💨🤣
Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.
Commentary:
"Next, they’ll add social media notifications to the road signs! 🙈🚗💥"
I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.
Commentary:
"Priorities: keeping fries safe since day one! 🚗🍟😄 #FoodOverFriends"
Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”
Commentary:
"Guess they forgot to add 'Don't read billboards and drive' too! 🚗💥📱😂"
I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.
Commentary:
"Designated drivers beware: some folks are too talented at being backseat comedians! 😂🚗🍷"
I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.
Commentary:
"Your wife's dedication is unmatched! 🚗🎶 She won't let a driveway stop her from finding THE perfect song! 😄🙌"
The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.
Commentary:
"Looks like my GPS has 'muscle memory' for the drive-thru! 🚗💥🏋️♂️🍔"
I have the sex drive of a potato.
Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 'potato libido' – reliable, consistent, and always ready to mash things up! 🥔💥 Who needs passion when you can have starch-filled satisfaction? Keep on being your spudtacular self!" 🤣🥔🚀