Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a generous employer like that? 🤑 Say goodbye to those expensive coping mechanisms and hello to financial stability! 💸 #EmployerGoals"
37 Funny drug quotes
Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.
Commentary:
"Drugs don’t ruin lives, they say. It's the drug tests that really bring out the stress and anxiety 🚫🧪 Who knew a little cup could hold so much power over our fate? 😅 #DrugTestingDrama"
Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.
Commentary:
"Who knew drug dealers were our unintentional math teachers all along? 🤔📏 Let's thank them for making the metric system less intimidating… one baggie at a time! 🤣💊 #MathletesInDisguise"
Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.
Commentary:
"Watch out, kiddos! That tooth money might lead you down a dark path to becoming a tooth mafia boss 😂💸💰 Just remember, no tooth is worth selling your molars for! 🦷🚫 #ToothFairyGoneWrong"
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.
Commentary:
"Sleeping is my favorite addiction, my cozy bed is like the shadiest dealer in town, and my alarm clock? Well, it's the biggest snitch of them all! 🛌💤🚨 #SleepingBeautyTurnedSleepingCriminal"
Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.
Commentary:
"Reading is like the secret passage to a smarter you 📚💡! It's the legal high that transforms ignorance into knowledge! Say no to stupidity, say yes to books! 📖🚀 #BookWormWisdom"
“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.
Commentary:
Why not risk it all and try quantum physics? You might not achieve enlightenment but you definitely won't end up with a tattoo you regret😂🔬👉