29 Funny dude quotes

• Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

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  11 hours ago

  better, billionaire, defense, dude, humor, income, irony, making, money, nobody, salary, wealth, worker, year

• My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

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  14 hours ago

  boss, doing, dude, home, humor, just, office, people, pretending, remote, remote work, think, work, work from home, working, workplace, workplace humor

• Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

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  1 day ago

  awesome, cat, cracking, dude, getting, getting stoned, guy, humor, i, just, laughing, love, pet, stoned, walk

• If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

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  1 day ago

  bad, bad day, day, dude, having, humor, indifference, just, remember

• Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

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  1 day ago

  dude, got, MacBook, place, places, public, public place, sudden, work

• Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

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  2 weeks ago

  almost, built, dude, geopolitics, humor, male, male mind, mind, pure, sex

• Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

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  1 month ago

  boredom, boring, dating, dude, ghosting, humor, left, media, personality, social, social media, swipe, swipe left

• Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

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  2 months ago

  admit, appearance, attraction, dating, dress, dude, fashion, fine, Funny, girl, girls, humor, medium, nice, style, super, ugly

• Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

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  2 months ago

  around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk

• “Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

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  2 months ago

  active, activity, awkwardness, dude, even, humor, life, relationship, sexual, sexual activity, social, social activity, social life, socially

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