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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just shared via Facebook:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Making waves on Discord:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Spotted on Slack:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Trending via Discord:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

29 Funny dude quotes

Funny dude quotes are the ultimate mood boosters 😂💬 Whether you need a chuckle during a tough day or a clever one-liner to share with friends, these gems deliver nonstop laughs 🤣🔥 From witty comebacks to goofy observations, they capture that laid-back, hilarious vibe everyone loves 🤙😎 Get ready to brighten your feed and spread some good vibes with the funniest dude sayings around!

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Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

99 shares on X this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

My life coach traded me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Going viral on Facebook:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Going viral on Discord:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Trending via Telegram:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Going viral on YouTube:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

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