33 Funny Earth quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news: Sources confirm that this post is indeed coming at you from Planet Earth 🌍🚀! And remember, folks, location, location, location – it's all about that intergalactic privacy 💫👽! Keep 'em guessing, Earthling! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

  Commentary:
  "Unleashing the hidden treasures of the earth, one never-ending pile of laundry at a time! 🌎🧺 Who knew being an Earth explorer could also mean mastering the art of folding fitted sheets? 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ultimate showdown between good and evil! 😈🎥 Looks like even the devil gets his 15 minutes of fame on the BBC. Talk about equal airtime for all sides! 😂📺 #HeavenVsHell #MediaEquality

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

  Commentary:
  "Happy Earth Day! 🌍🎉 Who knew getting older could make you so hot? 🔥😉 Here's to Earth staying forever young in our hearts (even if it keeps heating up!) 😄 #AgelessBeauty #PlanetGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

  Commentary:
  "💎 Diamond may be tough, but it's no match for the unyielding fortitude of a husband's stubborn head! 💪🤣 Who knew love could be so rock-solid? 🤦‍♂️ #StubbornHusbands #TougherThanDiamonds"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's got a case of the 'worldly' arms! 🌍💪 Maybe start with some earthly exercises to tone those upper arms and conquer your cosmic concerns! 🌎😅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Earth just can't escape the drama! 🌎😢 Who needs a psychic when you've got a front-row seat to the cosmic show of emotions right here on good old planet Earth? 😂 #CosmicComedy

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs aliens when we've got humans to deal with, am I right? 👽🌎 #OutOfThisWorldDrama"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

  Commentary:
  "If I were a billionaire, forget Mars, I'd have everyone else waving goodbye from my rocket-built private island in outer space! 🚀🏝️ #SpaceAintBigEnoughForUsAll"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe we should bring back the 'send annoying people to the sun' policy for some eco-friendly decluttering 😂🚀 Less pollution on earth, more space in the universe! Time to launch a few rockets – adios, annoying Earthlings! 👋🌞"

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