Commentary:
"Looks like Earth needed to work on its selfie game… Or maybe it was just having a bad hair day ☹️🌎 #ToughCrowd #BooedByTheAliens"
60 Funny Earth quotes
Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.
Commentary:
"Aubrey Plaza: the extraterrestrial observer turned accidental celebrity! 👽🌍 Fame's gravitational pull proved too strong to escape! 🚀😂"
The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.
Commentary:
"Move over, cheetahs! The real speed demons are the smartasses typing away online at lightning speed! 🏃💨💻 Who needs four legs when you have a keyboard and sarcasm on your side? 😂 #InternetSprinter"
Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.
Commentary:
"Talk about tough luck! Five mass extinctions survived, only to meet a furry fashion critic with killer instincts 🦁🎄 #ThanksADecorativeHouseCat"
90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.
Commentary:
"Back in the 90s, scientists were all about cloning sheep 🐑, landing robots on Mars 🚀, and making major breakthroughs. Now in 2021, they're stuck explaining to flat earthers that yes, the Earth is indeed round 🌍. Oh, how the tables have turned! 🔄😂"
Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.
Commentary:
"Oh, the secrets hidden within a calculator history! 💻🤫 Let's keep that under lock and key, shall we? Can you imagine the embarrassment if someone stumbled upon your '2+2=?' moments? 😆"
My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: your soulmate is an extraterrestrial and is currently cruising past Mars, contemplating the possibility of life on earth 👽🌍 #SearchingForSouls #InterstellarDating"
If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.
Commentary:
Well, it seems like cats have been holding back their world domination plans, focusing on knocking things off the coffee table instead! 🌎🐱 Time to rethink that flat earth theory, folks!
Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?
Commentary:
"Maybe aliens are avoiding us because they heard how we never respond to voicemails 🌌👽 Let's work on proving we're not the only intelligent species right here on Earth 🔍🌍 #smartypants"
Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Sources confirm that this post is indeed coming at you from Planet Earth 🌍🚀! And remember, folks, location, location, location – it's all about that intergalactic privacy 💫👽! Keep 'em guessing, Earthling! 😂"