58 funny Earth quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

May 21, 2026

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

May 21, 2026May 21, 2026

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

May 21, 2026

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

May 21, 2026

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

May 21, 2026

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

May 20, 2026

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

May 20, 2026

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

May 20, 2026

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

May 20, 2026

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

May 20, 2026

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

May 20, 2026

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

May 19, 2026

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

May 19, 2026

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

May 19, 2026

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

May 19, 2026

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

May 19, 2026

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

May 19, 2026

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

May 19, 2026