Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Going bananas on Instagram:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Going bananas on Discord:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Breaking via Messenger:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Just landed via X:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Seen just now on Discord:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Funny egypt quotes

New funny egypt quotes 👇

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

0

2 months ago

after, afterlife, ancient, ancient Egypt, belief, burial, buried, chest, egypt, fun, hands, humor, life, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide

All funny egypt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

15 shares on Discord this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

64 shares on X this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Spotted on Reddit:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Spotted on Twitch:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Going viral on Telegram:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Spotted on X:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Broadcasted on Slack:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny egypt quotes

New funny egypt quotes 👇

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

All funny egypt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨