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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Trending via Discord:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Spotted on YouTube:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Just landed via Twitch:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Seen just now on X:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Freshly posted on X:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Just landed via X:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Funny ex crush quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

29 shares on Telegram this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

98 shares on Slack this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

62 shares on X this month:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Making waves on Facebook:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Trending via Instagram:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Making waves on Discord:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Just shared via Threads:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Breaking via WeChat:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

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