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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Spotted on X:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Making waves on Reddit:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Breaking via Slack:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Going viral on Threads:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Shared recently on X:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Home » Funny Fat Quotes

55 Funny fat quotes

Funny fat quotes bring humor to the often sensitive subject of body image! 🍔😂 From witty remarks about food cravings to playful observations on body shape, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of self-acceptance. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun in every shape and size! 😄🎉

New funny fat quotes 👇

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

0

4 days ago

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

0

1 week ago

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

1 week ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word
I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

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1 month ago

business, business teacher, education, fat, humor, i, irony, own, pe, PE teacher, physical, physical education, scam, school, teacher, weight
I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

0

2 months ago

cake, complaint, expense, expensive, fat, humor, i, life, lived, longer, people, pet, pets, weight, wish
Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

0

2 months ago

casual, eating, fat, food, guy, hand, hands, humor, laziness, lazy, political, rice, self-deprecation
I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, body, body image, confidence, dress, fat, humor, i, image, self, self-acceptance, summer, think, want, well
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

0

2 months ago

dieting, fat, food, humor, ID, salad, sarcasm, taste, weight
When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

0

2 months ago

drain, energy, energy drain, fat, fatigue, humor, humor quote, life, motivation, people, sarcasm, self-care, should, suck, take, too, witty
My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, dumb, fat, humor, image, intelligence, IQ, sarcasm, self-deprecating, used, weight

For even more funny fat quotes, hit next 👇

All funny fat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on YouTube this month:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

64 shares on Discord this month:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How is it still this week?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,886

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Just landed via Facebook:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Making waves on TikTok:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Shared recently on Discord:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Going viral on Instagram:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

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