I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Commentary:
"Someone clearly misunderstood the concept of 'taking a red-eye.' 🌚💼 Nevertheless, avoiding pink eye is definitely the way to go on flights! 👁️✈️ #TravelWoes"

If there's no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've found the real MVP of air travel – the open mouth cougher! 🤧✈️ Who knew a simple 'ah-choo' could have such power over flight delays? 😂 #FlightEtiquette #HoldTheFlight"

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We're just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a 'fuselage' takes a little time.

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Commentary:
"Attention passengers! 🛫✈️ We apologize for the delay – apparently, our aircraft just can't take off without that one fancy 'fuselage' part, which seems to be stuck in the future with its 3D printing! 🤖🕰️ Hang in there, we'll get you soaring through the skies in no time! 😅"

When waiting for a flight, there's always one guy at the gate that makes you think, "As long as I'm not sitting next to him, I'll be fine."

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous gate lurker, the one passenger who has you praying to the travel gods for any seat that's not adjacent to his! 🙏✈️ Just remember, a noisy neighbor may be annoying, but at least he won't steal your armrest (hopefully)! 🙅‍♂️😂 #FlyingFollies

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Commentary:
"Airlines be like: 🛫 'Here's a complimentary napkin to dry those tears of despair!' 💸✈️ 'Oh you want to change your flight? That'll be $8700, plus an arm and a leg please!' 😂 #FlyingStruggles"

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic plot twist of the airport hustle! Falling victim to the time warp vortex where two hours quickly morph into mere minutes at security is a right of passage for jet-setters everywhere! 🕒✈️😅 Next time, maybe consider adding a round of airport limbo to pass the time!

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Commentary:
Looks like that flight had some unexpected in-flight entertainment! 🥁😅 Let's hope the little drummer didn't keep a beat going when it came time to sleep 😴🛫.

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perks of first class! From legroom to leadership, you never know what upgrade might be coming your way ✈️👨‍✈️ Fly high and aim for the cockpit, folks! #FirstClassGoals"

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Commentary:
Looks like the pilot's in for some impromptu sightseeing if you choose a marathon movie! ✈️🎬 Just imagine them circling the skies, wondering why they're suddenly on a prolonged scenic tour instead of landing on time. Maybe they'll even have time for a snack break at cruising altitude! 🍿✈️

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Commentary:
"Looks like you've got an impromptu book club at 30,000 feet! 📚✈️ Might as well turn this flight into a live audio book experience – complete with in-flight commentary and dramatic pauses! Who needs in-flight entertainment when you have captive audiences on either side? 😄 #BookClubInFlight"