945 funny food quotes - Wordgag

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

May 30, 2026

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

May 30, 2026

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

May 30, 2026

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

May 30, 2026

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

May 30, 2026

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

May 30, 2026

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

May 30, 2026

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

May 30, 2026

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

May 30, 2026

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

May 30, 2026

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

May 30, 2026

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

May 30, 2026

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

May 30, 2026

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

May 30, 2026

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

May 30, 2026

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

May 30, 2026

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

May 30, 2026

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

May 30, 2026

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

May 30, 2026

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

May 30, 2026

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

May 30, 2026

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

May 30, 2026

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

May 30, 2026

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

May 30, 2026

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

May 30, 2026

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

May 30, 2026

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

May 30, 2026

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

May 30, 2026

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

May 30, 2026

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

May 30, 2026

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

May 30, 2026

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

May 30, 2026

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

May 30, 2026

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

May 30, 2026

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

May 30, 2026

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

May 30, 2026

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

May 30, 2026

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

May 30, 2026

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

May 30, 2026

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

May 30, 2026