945 funny food quotes - Wordgag ツ

If I open a restaurant, there won’t be a menu. You will get what you deserve.

Mar 7, 2026Mar 7, 2026

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Feb 3, 2026

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

Feb 3, 2026

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

Feb 3, 2026

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Feb 3, 2026

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Feb 3, 2026

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Feb 3, 2026

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Feb 3, 2026

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Feb 3, 2026

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Feb 3, 2026

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Feb 3, 2026

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Feb 3, 2026

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Feb 3, 2026

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Feb 3, 2026

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Feb 3, 2026

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Feb 3, 2026

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Feb 3, 2026

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Feb 3, 2026

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Feb 3, 2026

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Feb 3, 2026

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Feb 3, 2026

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Feb 3, 2026

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Feb 3, 2026

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Feb 3, 2026

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Feb 3, 2026

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Feb 3, 2026

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Feb 3, 2026

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Feb 3, 2026

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Feb 3, 2026

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Feb 3, 2026

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Feb 3, 2026

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Feb 3, 2026

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Feb 3, 2026

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Feb 3, 2026

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Feb 3, 2026

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Feb 3, 2026

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Feb 3, 2026

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Feb 3, 2026

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Feb 3, 2026

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Feb 3, 2026