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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2442 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,604

Funny Quotes Topics

15,270

Funny Quotes Images

12,604

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Trending via Facebook:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Breaking via Instagram:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Reported on Threads:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2442 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,604

Funny Quotes Topics

15,270

Funny Quotes Images

12,604

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Broadcasted on X:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Going viral on Reddit:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Shared recently on Slack:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

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