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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has copied:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

β€œGod has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Telegram:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Going bananas on Discord:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Shared recently on Facebook:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Going bananas on X:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Just landed via WeChat:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Making waves on WeChat:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

121 Funny great quotes

Funny great quotes πŸ˜‚βœ¨ are like the secret sauce of the word world, adding a dash of humor and a sprinkle of genius to any conversation. Whether you’re looking to break the ice or just need a giggle, these gems have got your back, tickling your brain cells while making you nod in agreement. Dive into the world of witty wisdom and let the laughter commence! πŸ€£πŸ“š

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

23 shares on X this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYou’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like β€œHow to teach your kid to not bite”.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has viewed:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has copied:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has copied:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Just landed via Reddit:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Trending via Messenger:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Spotted on Discord:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Spotted on TikTok:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Just landed via Instagram:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Making waves on Messenger:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

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