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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,787

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Just shared via Facebook:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Home » Funny Great Quotes

118 Funny great quotes

Funny great quotes 😂✨ are like the secret sauce of the word world, adding a dash of humor and a sprinkle of genius to any conversation. Whether you’re looking to break the ice or just need a giggle, these gems have got your back, tickling your brain cells while making you nod in agreement. Dive into the world of witty wisdom and let the laughter commence! 🤣📚

New funny great quotes 👇

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

0

1 week ago

40s, accident, activity, cardiologist, great, health, hiking, humor, i, Jesus, medical, meet, met, new, nurse, outdoor, outdoor activity, paramedic, people, three, today
WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

0

2 weeks ago

daily, daily routine, day, exercise, great, home, humor, realize, routine, steps, walking, WFH, work, work from home
“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

0

4 weeks ago

chore, clean, cleaning, garage, great, humor, people, procrastination, weekend, wife
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

0

4 weeks ago

alarm, day, ever, freedom, great, humor, lazy, lazy day, morning, realize, relaxation, sex, sleep, today
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

0

1 month ago

academic, academic paper, after, browsing, closed, ever, frustration, great, humor, internet, internet browsing, life, multitasking, paper, productivity, sex, student, student life, sure, tabs
Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

0

1 month ago

behind, every, eye, eye roll, eyes, great, humor, media, person, roll, rolling, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet
Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

0

1 month ago

apple, apples, bad, blueberry, delicious, disgusting, Doritos, every, food, food humor, fruit, great, humor, inconsistency, know, problem, same, snack, sometimes, taste, time
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

0

1 month ago

actually, communication, culture, dating, ghosting, great, humor, respect, sign
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking
Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

0

2 months ago

attractiveness, being, confidence, great, hotter, humor, just, life, problem, problems, unfortunately

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All funny great quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Discord this month:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

70 shares on Discord this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

18 shares on Messenger this month:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

92 shares on Discord this month:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls are perverts when they like you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re so productive for your wage.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,612

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Seen just now on X:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Just shared via Reddit:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Spreading quickly via X:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

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