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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Making waves on Twitch:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Trending via Discord:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Live now on Messenger:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Breaking via YouTube:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Going viral on YouTube:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

121 Funny great quotes

Funny great quotes 😂✨ are like the secret sauce of the word world, adding a dash of humor and a sprinkle of genius to any conversation. Whether you’re looking to break the ice or just need a giggle, these gems have got your back, tickling your brain cells while making you nod in agreement. Dive into the world of witty wisdom and let the laughter commence! 🤣📚

New funny great quotes 👇

I was having a great day, and then, people.

2 hours ago

day, event, frustration, great, having, humor, i, interaction, mood, people, social, social interaction, unexpected, unexpected event
Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

3 hours ago

alike, great, great mind, humor, irony, mind, minds, ones, stupid, stupid mind, think, think alike, unfortunately, wit
Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

8 hours ago

able, artist, call, compliment, enough, fan, great, humor, i, job, liking, music, music fan, need, song, tell
Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

9 hours ago

asked, book, books, bookshop, conversation, great, humor, joke, me, misunderstanding, recommend, recommendation, said, sure, worker
I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

12 hours ago

aesthetics, bed, beds, carpenter, furniture, great, humor, i, need, remember, sex, squeak, squeaking
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

14 hours ago

addiction, addiction recovery, caught, colada, getting, great, humor, meet, meet people, people, piña, piña colada, place, rain, recovery, reference, rehab, socializing, song, song reference
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

14 hours ago

anyone, anywhere, avoiding, avoiding people, distancing, eyes, great, home, humor, i, introvert, money, open, people, saving, saving money, social, social distancing, staying, staying home
Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

17 hours ago

bad, bad day, day, disappointment, great, here, humor, liking, sports, team, worse
Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

24 hours ago

clicking, encouragement, great, humor, job, little, office, office humor, praise, productivity, proud, sarcasm, spreadsheet, super, today, work
The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

1 day ago

before, disappointment, dream, great, humor, irony, nightmare, only, sleep, thing, waking, waking up, worse

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Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

73 shares on TikTok this month:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

87 shares on X this month:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

37 shares on X this month:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite hobby is withering away.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Live now on Threads:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Just landed via Instagram:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Spotted on Instagram:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Spotted on TikTok:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

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