121 funny great quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

May 27, 2026

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

May 26, 2026

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

May 26, 2026

I used to have a great future in my past.

May 26, 2026

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

May 26, 2026

My body looks like I have a great personality.

May 26, 2026

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

May 26, 2026

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

May 25, 2026

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

May 25, 2026

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

May 25, 2026

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

May 25, 2026

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

May 25, 2026

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

May 25, 2026

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

May 25, 2026

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

May 25, 2026

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

May 24, 2026

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

May 24, 2026

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

May 24, 2026

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

May 24, 2026

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

May 24, 2026

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

May 23, 2026

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

May 23, 2026

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

May 23, 2026

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

May 23, 2026

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

May 23, 2026

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

May 23, 2026

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

May 23, 2026

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

May 23, 2026

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

May 23, 2026

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

May 23, 2026

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

May 23, 2026

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

May 23, 2026

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

May 23, 2026

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

May 23, 2026

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

May 23, 2026

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

May 23, 2026

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

May 23, 2026

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

May 23, 2026

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

May 23, 2026

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

May 23, 2026