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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Breaking via Facebook:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Just landed via X:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Just shared via Reddit:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

15 Funny guilt quotes

Funny guilt quotes bring laughter to those awkward moments when you know you’ve messed up but just can’t help smiling 😅. They turn those heavy feelings into lighthearted chuckles, making guilt a little less serious and a lot more relatable 😂. Ready to giggle at the silly side of regret? Let’s dive into some hilarious reminders that everyone’s been there—and survived! 🙈✨

New funny guilt quotes 👇

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

1 day ago

acceptance, ever, feel, guilt, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, pleasure, self, self-acceptance, why
Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

2 months ago

being, communication, energy, ever, friend, friendship, guilt, horrible, i, interaction, introvert, live, message, open, procrastination, reply, social, social interaction, text, text message, think, three, weeks
I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

2 months ago

day, doing, done, except, feel, guilt, guilty, humor, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, self-awareness
I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

2 months ago

always, bring, family, guilt, humor, i, joke, know, luggage, me, mom, parenting, relationships, sarcasm, send, shell, travel, trip, visiting
Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

2 months ago

accusation, actually, anger, being, frustration, guilt, humor, irony, male, man, nobody, sarcasm, something
Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

2 months ago

conversation, feeling, guilt, guilty, humor, myself, personal, reflection, self, session, taking, talking, therapy
Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

2 months ago

bro, dinner, eating, fault, feel, guilt, guilty, house, humor, hungry, i, irony, lifestyle, making, rapper, rappers, reason, responsibility, streets
Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

2 months ago

adventure, friends, going, guilt, humor, journey, loser, trip
God saw you do that.

2 months ago

God, guilt, humor, mischief, observation, saw
I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

2 months ago

church, confession, guilt, humor, i, irony, joke, name, relationship, want

For even more funny guilt quotes, hit next 👇

All funny guilt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

19 shares on Threads this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Going bananas on Threads:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Trending via Discord:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Making waves on Telegram:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

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