82 Funny guy quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Mother Nature needs to work on her sound production team! 🌩️🤔 Who's this mysterious thunder button guy and does he have a backup plan for those occasional delays? 😂⏰"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

  Commentary:
  Well, talk about a early riser! 🐦💪 Looks like this bird's got the breakfast shift locked in. Who knew birds could be such overachievers? 😂🌅

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  2 months ago

  Share →: The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

  Commentary:
  When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴‍♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷‍♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone at Apple has a cruel sense of humor 🙈📱 Keeping you in check with a sneaky sprinkle of nostalgia and heartbreak one featured photo at a time! 🐕💔😂 #ApplePranks"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic manipulative spin – the ultimate plot twist! 🔄 Don't you just love it when the bad guy plays the victim card? 🃏 It's like a truly twisted game of emotional chess! ♟️😄 #MasterOfManipulation"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone took the concept of "go with the flow" a bit too literally! 🤣 Clearly, they were trying to win with their superior skills in nodding and thumbs-upping. 🙌 Maybe next time they should consider throwing in a mic drop for good measure! 🎤🤷‍♂️ #AgreeToDisagree

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

  Commentary:
  🌻 "Looks like someone took 'stop and smell the flowers' a bit too literally! Sunflowers may be bright and beautiful, but they're not a replacement for a date, buddy. The only thing you should be picking in that field is pollen, not phone numbers! 😂 #SunflowerStalker" 🌻

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

  Commentary:
  👏👏 The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have felt like a one-man standing ovation auditioning for the role of "Awkward Encourager." Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and applaud your way through life's uncertainties! 😄👏

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

  Commentary:
  Oh, to live the carefree life of a girl, where tears flow like a never-ending river and the art of multitasking texting multiple guys is a well-practiced skill. 🙄💅 Maybe we should all take a page out of this playbook and make life a little more dramatic and chaotic! 😂 #GirlPower

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