40 Funny hold quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

  Commentary:
  Listening to legs: the ultimate way to make new friends… or get weird looks! 👂🦵😂

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

  Commentary:
  When the hold music stops, I'm ready with my acceptance speech 🙌🎤📞

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

  Commentary:
  When I shower, I sell out every night and never give away free tickets! 🎤🚿🎶

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

  Commentary:
  That's just my brain working as a fact-powered chainsaw 🧠🔪😂

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

  Commentary:
  Arm wrestling: the ultimate bromance activity! 💪👀🤝

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

  Commentary:
  "Looks like I'm not just a sweet talker, I'm a medical marvel! 😘🥼💉 #TooSweetToHandle"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

  Commentary:
  "Rise and shine… or should I say ‘flush and dash’? 😂🚽☀️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

  Commentary:
  "When grocery shopping turns into a horror movie: *The Munchies: Chapter 4!* 🛒🌿👻😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: They should invent someone who holds me.

  Commentary:
  "Someone to hold you? You mean like a personal hugging device? 🤖🤗 Or maybe just a set of extra long arms for those hard-to-reach cuddle moments? 🦾🤗 Just imagine the possibilities! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

  Commentary:
  🦷💪🏼 How about a thrilling date idea? Picture this – you bravely hold hands with your partner as they conquer the ultimate feat of dialing the dreaded dentist's number. 📞🙀 Oh, the adrenaline! 😂 #RomanticAndCourageous #RelationshipGoals

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