Funny quotes hold

31 Funny hold quotes

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Funny Quotes Mar 11, 2025

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025