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42 Funny hold quotes

Funny hold quotes 🎭 are the hidden gems of humor that turn waiting on the line into a delightful comedy break 😂. Whether you’re stuck on a call 🎧 or enduring another endless queue, these witty quips offer a sprinkle of laughter 🌟 when you need it most. With their clever twists and cheeky charm, they transform the mundane into a mini stand-up routine 🎤, ensuring you stay entertained while you wait.

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Posted on3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

They should invent someone who holds me.

Posted on6 months ago6 months ago

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Posted onMar 11, 2025Mar 11, 2025

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Posted onFeb 28, 2025Feb 28, 2025

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Posted onJan 28, 2025

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Posted onJan 28, 2025

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

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