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10,000+ funny quotes

130 Funny holiday quotes

Funny holiday quotes add a touch of humor to your festive celebrations! 🎉😂 Whether it’s poking fun at holiday traditions, quirky family gatherings, or seasonal mishaps, these quotes bring a laugh to every occasion. Enjoy the lighter side of the season and spread some cheer with these playful holiday gems! 😄🎄

1 month ago
View →: Using my one phone call to call Santa.
1 month ago
View →: When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.
2 months ago
View →: What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.
2 months ago
View →: Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.
3 months ago
View →: Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.
3 months ago
View →: Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.
3 months ago
View →: Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.
3 months ago
View →: Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.
3 months ago
View →: If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.
3 months ago
View →: I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.
3 months ago
View →: I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.
3 months ago
View →: Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.
3 months ago
View →: Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.
3 months ago
View →: The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.
3 months ago
View →: In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.
3 months ago
View →: Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.
3 months ago
View →: Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.
4 months ago
View →: The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.
4 months ago
View →: The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.
4 months ago
View →: Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.
4 months ago
View →: I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.
4 months ago
View →: I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.
4 months ago
View →: There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.
4 months ago
View →: I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.
4 months ago
View →: This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.
4 months ago
View →: Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.
4 months ago
View →: Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.
4 months ago
View →: Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.
4 months ago
View →: Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”
4 months ago
View →: I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

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