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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Going bananas on Threads:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Just shared via WeChat:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Just shared via YouTube:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Trending via YouTube:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Trending via Messenger:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Trending via Reddit:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

230 Funny holiday quotes

Funny holiday quotes add a touch of humor to your festive celebrations! 🎉😂 Whether it’s poking fun at holiday traditions, quirky family gatherings, or seasonal mishaps, these quotes bring a laugh to every occasion. Enjoy the lighter side of the season and spread some cheer with these playful holiday gems! 😄🎄

New funny holiday quotes 👇

For even more funny holiday quotes, hit next 👇

All funny holiday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on YouTube this month:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

94 shares on X this month:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Just landed via Twitch:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Spotted on Messenger:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Just shared via Facebook:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Just shared via Facebook:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Just landed via Facebook:

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

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