135 Funny holiday quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

  Commentary:
  Celebrating Halloween in March and Thanksgiving leftovers in May, I'm just living my best life! 🎃🦃🎄

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

  Commentary:
  Why stop at shoes, cookies, and toys? Let's put them in charge of everything—maybe we'll finally get free cookies with every shoe purchase and toys that assemble themselves! 🍪👠🎁

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

  Commentary:
  When your wallet's on a diet but your mom isn't! 🍽️😅🍕

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

  Commentary:
  Only in America do we celebrate Independence Day in Reverse Date Mode 🤔🇺🇸🎆

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

  Commentary:
  Guess they're just trying to make sure we never forget Will Smith's legendary alien punch 😂👽🥊 #WelcomeToEarth

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Using my one phone call to call Santa.

  Commentary:
  "Hope Santa's phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

  Commentary:
  Looks like when I’m president, Thursdays are getting a promotion! 🗳️🎉 Who needs a weekend when you can have a double day off? 😎🇺🇸 Let’s make “Thursday extensions” the new national policy—because everyone deserves a little extra weekend magic! ✨🛌

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  3 months ago

  Share →: What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

  Commentary:
  🤣 Oh, the thought of an evil Santa swiping away our kids' most irritating toys is both diabolical and brilliant! Finally, a holiday hero we can truly get behind! Goodbye, noisy toys and batteries that never last – we're counting on you, Evil Santa! 👹🎅🎁🚫 #ParentingDreams

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, why do we have to pretend we're all responsible adults working on a Monday instead of body-slamming each other in the ring? 🤼‍♂️🎉 #WrestlemaniaHolidayNeeded"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

  Commentary:
  🎄🍔🍟 "Don't blame the holidays for that extra serving of pie – you were already rocking that 'summer bod' in August! Maybe your beach towel needed a little more loving than your salad bowl 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HolidayFeastFail"

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