Funny quotes holiday

128 Funny holiday quotes

Funny holiday quotes add a touch of humor to your festive celebrations! 🎉😂 Whether it’s poking fun at holiday traditions, quirky family gatherings, or seasonal mishaps, these quotes bring a laugh to every occasion. Enjoy the lighter side of the season and spread some cheer with these playful holiday gems! 😄🎄

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

2 weeks ago

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

2 weeks ago

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

1 month ago

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

1 month ago

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

1 month ago

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

1 month ago

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

1 month ago

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

1 month ago

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

1 month ago

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

1 month ago

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

2 months ago

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

2 months ago

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

2 months ago

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

2 months ago

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

2 months ago

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

3 months ago

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

3 months ago

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

3 months ago

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

3 months ago

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

3 months ago