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130 Funny holiday quotes

Funny holiday quotes add a touch of humor to your festive celebrations! 🎉😂 Whether it’s poking fun at holiday traditions, quirky family gatherings, or seasonal mishaps, these quotes bring a laugh to every occasion. Enjoy the lighter side of the season and spread some cheer with these playful holiday gems! 😄🎄

Trending Funny Holiday Quotes 🔥

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.
The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.
It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.
Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

New funny holiday quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Commentary:
"Hope Santa's phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta"
2 months ago
Share →: When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Commentary:
Looks like when I’m president, Thursdays are getting a promotion! 🗳️🎉 Who needs a weekend when you can have a double day off? 😎🇺🇸 Let’s make “Thursday extensions” the new national policy—because everyone deserves a little extra weekend magic! ✨🛌
3 months ago
Share →: What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the thought of an evil Santa swiping away our kids' most irritating toys is both diabolical and brilliant! Finally, a holiday hero we can truly get behind! Goodbye, noisy toys and batteries that never last – we're counting on you, Evil Santa! 👹🎅🎁🚫 #ParentingDreams
3 months ago
Share →: Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Commentary:
"Seriously, why do we have to pretend we're all responsible adults working on a Monday instead of body-slamming each other in the ring? 🤼‍♂️🎉 #WrestlemaniaHolidayNeeded"
3 months ago
Share →: Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Commentary:
🎄🍔🍟 "Don't blame the holidays for that extra serving of pie – you were already rocking that 'summer bod' in August! Maybe your beach towel needed a little more loving than your salad bowl 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HolidayFeastFail"
3 months ago
Share →: Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa is not just busy making toys but also playing reindeer games of labor negotiations! 🦌🔥 Who knew the North Pole had its own version of office politics. Watch out for flying sleigh grievances! 🎅✨
3 months ago
Share →: Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Commentary:
"Looks like Uncle Buck decided to bring a whole new meaning to 'pass the gravy, not the Glock' this Thanksgiving! 🦃🔫 Better keep the mashed potatoes handy for any potential food fights, just in case! 😅"
3 months ago
Share →: Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Commentary:
"Kudos to those whose Christmas decorations are still up! You're not late, you're just early for next year. Keep spreading that festive cheer year-round!"
3 months ago
Share →: If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Commentary:
"Ah, the true spirit of Thanksgiving – not just a celebration of gratitude, but also a strategic operation for securing the best leftovers! It's like a tasty treasure hunt where the real prize is that second helping of pumpkin pie. So, if you're hoping for well-wishes, better come prepared with a Tupperware and a hearty appetite! Happy Turkey Day and may your fridge always be full."
3 months ago
Share →: I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to learn about karma the hard way – waking up at dawn on a holiday! Who knew the universe had such a twisted sense of humor when it comes to work schedules? It seems like karma's alarm clock is set to "early bird gets the regret."