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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,841

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Making waves on YouTube:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Trending via Telegram:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Spotted on WeChat:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Trending via Facebook:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Home » Funny Holiday Quotes

218 Funny holiday quotes

Funny holiday quotes add a touch of humor to your festive celebrations! 🎉😂 Whether it’s poking fun at holiday traditions, quirky family gatherings, or seasonal mishaps, these quotes bring a laugh to every occasion. Enjoy the lighter side of the season and spread some cheer with these playful holiday gems! 😄🎄

New funny holiday quotes 👇

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

0

5 hours ago

boxing, Boxing Day, called, day, eating, holiday, humor, joke, spend
Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

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5 hours ago

boredom, Christmas, Christmas morning, cop, cops, enforcement, excited, family, gun, hell, highway, holiday, hours, humor, ignore, law, law enforcement, morning, radar, radar gun, sit, traffic, wake
What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

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5 hours ago

belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa
Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

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6 hours ago

Christmas, funny incident, hole, holiday, humor, i, incident, left, milk, punch, Santa, soy, soy milk, wall
The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

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6 hours ago

after, appliance, Christmas, cooking, danger, dangerous, day, holiday, microwave, morning
364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

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6 hours ago

Christmas, countdown, days, decoration, decorations, holiday, humor, impatience, people
We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

0

2 days ago

31st, Christmas, countdown, date, December, end, end of year, holiday, humor, new, new year, period, time, time period, void, year
Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

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2 days ago

car, Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, family, holiday, honey, humor, procrastination, store
My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

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2 days ago

asking, before, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, family, holiday, live, mom, ornament, putting, tradition, tree, want, where
Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

0

2 days ago

body, grooming, holiday, humor, just, Santa, shave, shaved, whole

For even more funny holiday quotes, hit next 👇

All funny holiday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

71 shares on X this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

26 shares on X this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love it when God gives me money.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,051

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Just shared via X:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Just shared via Instagram:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

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