Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Just landed via Threads:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Spotted on Discord:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Body by sandwich.

Just landed via Discord:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Just shared via X:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Funny hologram quotes

New funny hologram quotes 👇

All funny hologram quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

48 shares on Slack this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

57 shares on Slack this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Breaking via WeChat:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Just landed via WeChat:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Going viral on Facebook:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

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