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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Trending via Reddit:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Just shared via Slack:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Spotted on Facebook:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Reported on Instagram:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Just landed via TikTok:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Trending via Discord:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Spotted on YouTube:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Reported on WhatsApp:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Making waves on X:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Trending via Instagram:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

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