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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Just landed via Slack:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Going viral on Threads:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Seen just now on Slack:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Live now on TikTok:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Just landed via X:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Just shared via Threads:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Trending via Instagram:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Reported on Facebook:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Live now on Slack:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Trending via Twitch:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Shared recently on Threads:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Going viral on Facebook:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

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