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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,776

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Trending via Reddit:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Just landed via WeChat:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Home » Funny Impossibility Quotes

Funny impossibility quotes

New funny impossibility quotes 👇

All funny impossibility quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,868

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Going viral on Reddit:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Live now on WeChat:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Spotted on Telegram:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Trending via Slack:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Going viral on YouTube:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

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