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Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Just landed via Discord:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Trending via TikTok:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Breaking via Discord:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Making waves on Facebook:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Funny impossibility quotes

New funny impossibility quotes 👇

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

3 months ago

daily, daily life, date, day, frustration, hate, humor, i, impossibility, impossible, kids, life, me, parenting, questions

All funny impossibility quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

14 shares on X this month:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Making waves on Reddit:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Live now on Telegram:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Going viral on Reddit:

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Just landed via Slack:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

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Funny impossibility quotes

New funny impossibility quotes 👇

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

All funny impossibility quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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