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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Reported on Instagram:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Seen just now on Instagram:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Just landed via Reddit:

Half princess, half menace.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Making waves on Messenger:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

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Funny instinct quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Spotted on Instagram:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Spotted on TikTok:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

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