Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.