Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you can just tag them yourself? 🎯💥 Let's make unfriending even more satisfying! 😂 #TaggingEnemies"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Commentary:
"Looks like that 4-year-old has a stand-up comedy career in the making! 🎤 Who needs plans when you have a mini comedian on the loose? 😄 #FutureComedyStar"
6 months ago
Share →: If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's idea of punctuality is as flexible as a rubber band 🕰️😄 If patience is a virtue, then this person is a saint in the making! ⏳😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Commentary:
🤔💭 "I will be posting telepathically… So if you suddenly feel a surge of humor, congratulations, you've just been mind-memed by moi! Think of it as a mental high-five with a comedic twist ✨🤪 #MindMemeMaven"
6 months ago
Share →: Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Sex is like my hair – sparse and elusive! 🙈 Maybe it's playing hard to get? Or perhaps it's just practicing social distancing? Whatever the reason, at this rate, tomorrow's forecast calls for more Netflix and less… well, hair-raising adventures! 💁‍♂️🚫"
6 months ago
Share →: Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Commentary:
"Life lesson #101: Paying rent turns humor into horror 😂💸 Say goodbye to jokes and hello to bill collectors!"
6 months ago
Share →: A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Commentary:
"Looks like this fitness trainer didn't appreciate a compliment on her perfect inhaling and exhaling technique! Maybe she was expecting applause instead of flattery on her breath hygiene? 🏋️‍♂️💨😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Commentary:
"Trying to uncover my hidden talents is like playing hide and seek with my own self. 🕵️‍♀️🎭 Maybe they're just really good at hiding, or maybe I need a treasure map to find them! 🗺️😂 Who knew I could be so mysterious even to myself! 🤷‍♂️🔍"
6 months ago
Share →: The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Commentary:
"The 'E' in my name stands for 'Everything you need.' 🌟 So basically, I'm your one-stop shop for awesomeness! 💁‍♂️💼 #AllHailE"
6 months ago
Share →: Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Commentary:
"Food and sex – two irresistible temptations in life! 💋🍔 Just like how even the most unappetizing meal starts to seem appealing when you haven't eaten, sometimes a little deprivation can make everything seem enticing. Bon appétit or bon amour, embrace the cravings in moderation! 😉"