Funny quotes kids

160 Funny kids quotes

Funny kids quotes offer a heartwarming and hilarious glimpse into the world of childhood! 👶😂 From their quirky observations to their amusingly honest remarks, these quotes highlight the charm and humor of young minds. Get ready to smile and laugh at the delightful wisdom of kids! 😄🎈

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Funny Quotes Mar 16, 2025

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Funny Quotes Mar 15, 2025

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Funny Quotes Mar 15, 2025

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Funny Quotes Mar 6, 2025

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Funny Quotes Feb 12, 2025

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025