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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Breaking via YouTube:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Seen just now on Slack:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Just landed via Telegram:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Making waves on Discord:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Going viral on Telegram:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

220 Funny kids quotes

Funny kids quotes offer a heartwarming and hilarious glimpse into the world of childhood! 👶😂 From their quirky observations to their amusingly honest remarks, these quotes highlight the charm and humor of young minds. Get ready to smile and laugh at the delightful wisdom of kids! 😄🎈

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

10 shares on Threads this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

45 shares on Threads this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

98 shares on Slack this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Just shared via Facebook:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Seen just now on Messenger:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

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