Funny killer quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the perfect way to unwind after a long day – because nothing says 'chill' quite like a good ol' serial killer documentary 🤯🔪 Who needs calming nature sounds when you can have murder mysteries, right? Stay creepy, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️ #UnconventionalRelaxation"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! Here's a fun commentary to match the quote:

  "Hannibal Lecter could have been the ultimate food critic, but no, he had to take his culinary expertise to a whole new level… of terror! 🍴🔪 Bon appétit with a side of chilling thrills!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

  Commentary:
  "Really, where's the extra incentive for drafting those *fire* emails, right? 💸💻 Who knew that a few dollar bills could make email chains more thrilling than a spy mission? 🔥💼 #TipMeIfYouLikeMyEmails"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

  Commentary:
  "Life's a stage, and for serial killers and comedians alike, it's all about that elusive Netflix special 🎬 Or you might just end up on those 'shitty podcasts' discussing your quirky hobbies like collecting stamps or, uh, body parts 🤷‍♂️ Either way, make sure to choose your performances wisely! 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of 'I have so much to do… and by so much, I mean binge-watching documentaries on how not to get away with murder 🍿🔪 #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, so you're aiming for that 'I will conquer the world' vibe with your killer look, huh? 💼🔪 No wonder you give off such 'sharp' and 'cutting-edge' energy! Just make sure to channel that ambition into more socially acceptable activities, please. 😅 #AmbitiousYetApproachable"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

  Commentary:
  "Embrace yourself for who you are… unless you have a weird affinity for dark alleys and duct tape. 🔪😅 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone starts collecting trophies! 🏆 #AcceptanceWithLimits"

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