Funny killer quotes

• When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

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  2 months ago

  assume, block, confidence, good, humor, i, jawline, just, killer, looks, me, media, people, personality, rugged, rugged look, social, social media

• I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

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  2 months ago

  anger, angry, awkwardness, deadpan, expression, facial, facial expression, facial neutral, humor, i, joke, killer, neutral, neutral expression, personality, serial, serial killer, social, social awkwardness, suffer, syndrome, where

• I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

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  2 months ago

  chilling, documentary, entertainment, humor, irony, just, killer, news, put, relax, relief, serial, serial killer, stress, stress relief, turned

• Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

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  2 months ago

  comedy, dark, dark comedy, enough, foodie, hannibal, Hannibal Lecter, humor, killer, lecter, scary, serial, serial killer

• Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

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  2 months ago

  20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst

• Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

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  2 months ago

  being, big, career, comedian, comedy, comedy career, dark, dark comedy, entertainment, failure, hit, humor, killer, much, Netflix, own, podcast, popping, serial, serial killer, special, spend, success

• Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

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  2 months ago

  binge-watching, distraction, docusery, girl, girls, humor, i, killer, much, procrastination, serial, serial killer, snacks, start, watching

• When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

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  2 months ago

  ambitious, appearance, compliment, face, humor, i, irony, killer, meant, personality, serial, serial killer

• Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

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  2 months ago

  acceptance, dark, dark humor, humor, identity, individuality, irony, killer, self-acceptance, serial, serial killer

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