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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Just shared via Reddit:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Trending via Instagram:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Just landed via Reddit:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Just landed via Discord:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Going viral on WeChat:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Funny kneel quotes

New funny kneel quotes 👇

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

0

2 months ago

bow, etiquette, hands, handshake, humor, kneel, not shaking, shaking

Someone from 🇦🇿 has recently copied this quote.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny kneel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

82 shares on Slack this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

44 shares on Threads this month:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

48 shares on Facebook this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Spotted on WeChat:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Going viral on Reddit:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Seen just now on Discord:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Making waves on WeChat:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny kneel quotes

New funny kneel quotes 👇

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

All funny kneel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨