Funny land quotes

• Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

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  2 months ago

  aging, cherry, cherry tomato, dream, dream job, fun, gardening, getting, goal, goals, grow, growing, growing plant, humor, job, land, life, life goal, older, plant, success, things, tomato, transition

• Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

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  2 months ago

  disappointment, gift, giving, humor, keeps, land, magic, magical, Monday, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek

• I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

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  2 months ago

  animals, cat, cats, convinced, Earth, explosion, feet, humor, land, landing, moon, safely, safety, space, whimsical

• The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

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  2 months ago

  ambition, aspiration, bags, goal, Gucci, humor, land, luxury, materialism, never, success, wealth

• Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

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  3 months ago

  bills, costs, financial, financial struggle, humor, land, Land Rover, left, luxury, me, money, much, rover, spending, struggle, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking

• My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

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  3 months ago

  body, fitness, humor, land, self-deprecation, transformation, wonder

• When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

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  3 months ago

  audience, bad, bad joke, comedy, follow, follow up, good, humor, i, joke, land, laughter, performance, punchline, realize, tell, timing, worse

• All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

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  3 months ago

  behavior, curiosity, discover, else, exploration, fly, fruit, fruit fly, garbage, land, nagging, new, new land

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