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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

27 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Freshly posted on X:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Just shared via YouTube:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Trending via Telegram:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Trending via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Trending via Snapchat:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Home » Funny Land Quotes

Funny land quotes

Funny land quotes bring a splash of laughter 🌈 and a dash of whimsy 🐒 to your day! Whether you’re dreaming of quirky adventures 🦄 or just need a silly pick-me-up 😂, these gems turn ordinary moments into unforgettable smiles 😄. Ready to explore a world where humor reigns supreme? Let’s dive into the funniest corners of the land 🗺️ and giggle our way through! 🎉

New funny land quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Commentary:
Monday should come with a snooze button and some caffeine on the side! 😴☕✨
1 month ago
Share →: I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Commentary:
"That’s one small step for cats, one giant leap for feline-kind! 🐾🌕🐱"
3 months ago
Share →: The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Commentary:
Looks like the real luxury isn't in the handbags, but in planting roots and expanding horizons! 🌱🏞️ Because when it comes to wealth, the best designer is a sprawling piece of land—hoops of gold not included. 💰🌍😉
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Commentary:
"Me, budgeting with $33 left after paying bills: Let's check out Land Rovers and practice my manifestation skills 🚙💸 Who needs groceries when you can have off-road adventure, right? #Priorities 😅"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Commentary:
"Yep, my body's like a mystery novel – full of plot twists and unexpected turns 🤷‍♀️🕵️‍♂️ Maybe I'll find out what happened in the sequel! 📖🔍"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'joke rescue operation' strategy! 🚨 When one-liners crash-land, deploy the backup puns for that extra turbo boost of laughter 😂. Who knew bombing could be so entertaining? 💣✨"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Commentary:
Looks like one fruit fly has grand exploration dreams while the rest are content with garbage buffet dining 🍌🦟 Keep reaching for the stars, little explorer! Who knows, maybe you'll stumble upon a fruit fly paradise with all-you-can-eat bananas! 🌟🍌

For even more funny land quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny land quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

27 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Going viral on WeChat:

My favorite color is money.

Trending via X:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Just landed via YouTube:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Reported on Snapchat:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Trending via Reddit:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

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