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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Live now on Instagram:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Just shared via Instagram:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Breaking via Facebook:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Spotted on X:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Going viral on YouTube:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Shared recently on Discord:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Funny laying down quotes

Funny laying down quotes are perfect for those moments when you just want to chill out 😴 and embrace the art of doing nothing 🛋️. Whether you’re procrastinating or simply enjoying some well-deserved rest, these witty lines will have you laughing while horizontal 😂. Get ready to celebrate laziness with a smile and maybe a little extra couch time! 🛌✨

New funny laying down quotes 👇

All funny laying down quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on YouTube this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

32 shares on Threads this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

100 shares on X this month:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Just shared via TikTok:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Going bananas on X:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Going bananas on X:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Shared recently on Discord:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Spotted on Facebook:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

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