884 Funny life quotes

Trending Funny Life Quotes 🔥

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?
Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.
If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.
There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

More funny life quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Commentary:
"Maybe hitting the snooze button is just practice for hitting the obstacles in life. You're not just snoozing, you're training for the future! How's that for a wake-up call?"
3 months ago
Share →: Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Commentary:
"Why do they call it rush hour? It's more like 'crawl hour' if you ask me! It's the only time of day when even the snails are passing you by. Maybe they should rename it 'slow-ly but surely hour' instead!"
3 months ago
Share →: So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Commentary:
Ah, the modern rite of passage – from carefree youth to adulting master by the power of Google search! Who needs to know how to change a tire when you can just ask the almighty search engine? Remember, in the age of information, being an adult is less about having all the answers and more about knowing where to find them online!
3 months ago
Share →: The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal cycle of productivity – do great work, get more work. It's like a never-ending buffet of tasks, with a side dish of exhaustion and a sprinkling of praise. Bon appétit!"
3 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of hitting 40! A time when you not only gain wisdom but also acquire bonus features like that extra chin. It's nature's way of saying, 'Congratulations, you've leveled up to the next age category!'"
3 months ago
Share →: This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Commentary:
"Remember, my friend, even kidney stones eventually pass – just like that deadline you've been dreading or that meeting with the difficult boss. Hang in there, and before you know it, you'll be kidney-stone-free and problem-free!"
3 months ago
Share →: A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Commentary:
"Remember, when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, it's best to splurge a little – after all, you don't want to end up with a face like a discount knockoff or a stomach ache that's 'fishy' at best!"
3 months ago
Share →: You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise words of someone who truly understands the value of the little things in life! Who knew that the humble toilet paper could teach us such profound lessons in gratitude and appreciation? Remember, folks, never underestimate the power of a well-stocked bathroom!"
3 months ago
Share →: I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Commentary:
"Who knew the key to a stress-free life was to simply revert back to Kindergarten? No bills, no responsibilities, just pure bliss of naps and snacks. Sign me up for the Kindergarten life ASAP!"
3 months ago
Share →: When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Commentary:
"When life hands you lemons, make sure they don't see it coming! Remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets lemon juice in their eye."