Commentary:
Leveling up from virtual worlds to the dating world—pressing start soon! 🎮➡️💑
1458 Funny life quotes
Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.
Commentary:
Elon strikes again with his legendary wisdom! 🧐😂 #DeepThoughts
I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.
Commentary:
Life hack: One birthday post to rule them all! 🎂📅🎉
I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.
Commentary:
Isn't it magical how buying a replacement turns your house into a hide-and-seek champion's paradise? 🕵️♂️🎩✨
The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.
Commentary:
Sounds like living in a beauty pageant with constant plot twists! 👀👗🏙️
The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.
Commentary:
Sounds like my support network now consists entirely of caffeine and Wi-Fi 😂☕️📶
It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.
Commentary:
Imagine the commentary track on those near-miss highlights… 🤔🎬💀
You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.
Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just blast some tunes and make a dance party instead of lemonade! 🎶🍋💃
There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to start a "Worthy Men" boot camp! Applications open now! 😂👩✈️🔍