Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Live now on TikTok:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Breaking via WeChat:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Seen just now on Discord:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Going viral on Reddit:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Funny magic trick quotes

New funny magic trick quotes 👇

All funny magic trick quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Reddit this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

77 shares on X this month:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Trending via X:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Trending via TikTok:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Spotted on Discord:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Going viral on YouTube:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Live now on WeChat:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Spotted on Messenger:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Trending via Telegram:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Trending via Reddit:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴