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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

10 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Trending via Messenger:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Trending via Facebook:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Seen just now on Slack:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Spotted on Snapchat:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Just landed via Telegram:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Home » Funny Needlenose Quotes

Funny Needlenose quotes

New funny Needlenose quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Commentary:
Looks like the nickname police from HR is cracking down! 🚨🕵️‍♂️ Say goodbye to all the fun and creativity at work! 🙄 Looks like we'll have to stick to boring old first names now. RIP creativity in the workplace! 😂👔

For even more funny Needlenose quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Needlenose quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

10 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Making waves on Reddit:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Just shared via Discord:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

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