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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Making waves on X:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Spotted on Telegram:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Trending via Instagram:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Just landed via Reddit:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Making waves on WeChat:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Funny Old McDonald quotes

New funny Old McDonald quotes 👇

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

0

2 months ago

celine, Celine Dion, dion, fact, farm, fun, fun fact, humor, lyrics, mcdonald, name, old, Old McDonald, vowels

Someone from 🇱🇨 has recently shared this quote.

86 shares on Threads this month.

All funny Old McDonald quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Making waves on Threads:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Spotted on Facebook:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Trending via Pinterest:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Old McDonald quotes

New funny Old McDonald quotes 👇

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

All funny Old McDonald quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨