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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Going viral on WeChat:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Going viral on X:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Reported on Twitch:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Just landed via Facebook:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Making waves on YouTube:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Shared recently on X:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Seen just now on Instagram:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Trending via Threads:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

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