Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous pile of clothes, the mysterious entity that defies all logic and grows taller with each passing day! 👕🧦 It's like a magical creature playing a never-ending game of Jenga on your bed! 🌟 Who knew laundry could be so mischievous and persistent? Perhaps it's time to call for backup – the laundry fairy, anyone? 🧚‍♂️✨
6 months ago
Share →: Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Commentary:
Oh, dear! Looks like someone's devices are feeling a bit drained and can't power up those creative ideas! 🤖🔋 Don't worry, we can definitely find some non-battery-operated inspiration to spark your genius instead! ⚡💡 Let's leave those tired devices to recharge while we dive into some electrifying new ventures! 🚀💥
6 months ago
Share →: Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Commentary:
🎅🏼 "Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff." 🤣 Looks like someone is mastering the art of independence and self-reliance! Who needs Santa when you've got your own shopping skills? 🛍️💁‍♂️ Just remember to treat yourself extra nice this holiday season – you deserve it! 😉✨
6 months ago
Share →: I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Commentary:
"Seems like a classic case of 'crabby pot, meet kettle' situation! 🦀⏳ Don't worry, we're all guilty of being time-wasters in our own special way. Embrace the irony, and keep on procrastinating like a pro!"
6 months ago
Share →: Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Commentary:
"Sounds like that movie was a real 'housebuster'! 🏠💥 Who needs haunted houses when you've got Netflix delivering the terror straight to your living room? 😂🎬"
6 months ago
Share →: A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Commentary:
Looks like that camel really knows how to take happy hour into its own hands! 🐪🍸 Bet he just wanted a hump-day cocktail! 🐪🍹 Hope he doesn't get the "hump" over this mix-up! 🤣🍷
6 months ago
Share →: At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Commentary:
Well, they do say, "Doctor knows best!" 🩺💉 Looks like this doctor decided to make sure she's in tip-top shape too. Talk about practicing what you preach! 🩸😄
6 months ago
Share →: Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Commentary:
"Life's a stage, and for serial killers and comedians alike, it's all about that elusive Netflix special 🎬 Or you might just end up on those 'shitty podcasts' discussing your quirky hobbies like collecting stamps or, uh, body parts 🤷‍♂️ Either way, make sure to choose your performances wisely! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic winter dilemma – the evolution of enthusiasm to apathy towards shoveling snow ❄️. It's like a snowman of motivation slowly melting into a puddle of procrastination ⏳. Who needs a gym membership when you can just wait for nature's snowblower, right? 😅 #WinterBlues #ProcrastinationNation
6 months ago
Share →: Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Commentary:
"Narcissus had a tough time dealing with his chatty reflection – must have been like talking to someone who just never stops interrupting 🙄🤳 #MirrorMirrorOnTheWall"