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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Spotted on Slack:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Breaking via Pinterest:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Going viral on YouTube:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Trending via WeChat:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

91 Funny pain quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

32 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

40 shares on X this month:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Making waves on WeChat:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Going viral on Threads:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Breaking via Threads:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Spotted on Threads:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Trending via Slack:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Making waves on Discord:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Making waves on Slack:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

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