Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Making waves on Slack:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Seen just now on Threads:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Trending via Snapchat:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Breaking via Threads:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

16 Funny punctuation quotes

Funny punctuation quotes bring a splash of wit and charm to the tiny marks that shape our sentences! 😄✍️ From mischievous commas to rebellious exclamation points, these clever lines celebrate the quirks of grammar with a smile. Whether you’re a punctuation pro or just love a good laugh, get ready to see those dots, dashes, and curves in a whole new, hilarious light! 🎉📚😂

New funny punctuation quotes 👇

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

23 minutes ago

ahead, doing, grammar, humor, joke, know, mistake, punctuation, semi-colon, semicolon, writing, wrong
I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

6 hours ago

confusion, grammar, humor, identity, know, me, misunderstanding, most, people, punctuation, semicolon
I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

2 months ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, never, punctuation, semicolon, used, writing
Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

2 months ago

coding, grammar, hell, hot, humor, language, nerd, punctuation, semicolon, writing
Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

2 months ago

AI, AI writing, dash, em, em dash, grammar, humor, incoherence, incoherent, mean, please, punctuation, stop, too, us, work, writing
Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

2 months ago

grammar, humor, joke, professional, punctuation, semicolon, usage, writing
Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

2 months ago

big, double, double negative, friendly, grammar, humor, joke, language, linguistic, linguistic rule, negative, punctuation, reminder, rule
People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

2 months ago

comedy, deserve, found, grammar, guilty, humor, law, people, punctuation, sentence, writing
If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

2 months ago

assertiveness, comma, control, grammar, humor, i, punctuation, put, want, writing
lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

2 months ago

communication, humor, internet, internet slang, laugh, lol, loud, punctuation, slang, texting

For even more funny punctuation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny punctuation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Shared recently on X:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Just shared via Discord:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Seen just now on Discord:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Shared recently on Discord:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

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