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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Spotted on Telegram:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Reported on WeChat:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Reported on Threads:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Reported on Slack:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Going viral on X:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Seen just now on Discord:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Shared recently on X:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Just landed via Messenger:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Reported on Instagram:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Reported on Telegram:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

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