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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has shared:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Instagram:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Making waves on Threads:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Just landed via Reddit:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing β€˜k’ instead of β€˜ok’?

Spotted on YouTube:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Home Β» Funny Selective Quotes

Funny selective quotes

Funny selective quotes are like little nuggets of humor πŸŽ‰ that sneak into your day and make you smile πŸ˜„ when you least expect it. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your captions πŸ“±, these witty gems πŸ’Ž mix sarcasm, truth, and a dash of sass. Ready to laugh out loud and maybe even relate? Let’s dive into the funniest, quirkiest quotes that pick and choose just the right moments to entertain! πŸ˜‚βœ¨

New funny selective quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny selective quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny selective quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has viewed:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

We can’t both age regress at the same time β€” someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has shared:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Instagram:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Reported on Instagram:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow β€” not yours.

Spotted on Facebook:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupΓ©e is just floating.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Just shared via Twitch:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Live now on TikTok:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Shared recently on Discord:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

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