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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Reported on Twitch:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Breaking via Slack:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Trending via Discord:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Breaking via Slack:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Trending via Messenger:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Going viral on YouTube:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Spotted on YouTube:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Just landed via Instagram:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Trending via Slack:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

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