Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Shared recently on Threads:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Just shared via Twitch:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Making waves on Discord:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Live now on WhatsApp:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Home » Funny Stay Shut Quotes

Funny stay shut quotes

New funny stay shut quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Commentary:
"Who needs doors anyway? 🚪🔨 Once it's shut, it's shut for good! Time to channel your inner handyman and show that door who's boss! 💪😂"

For even more funny stay shut quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny stay shut quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Spotted on Messenger:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Breaking via WeChat:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Just shared via Telegram:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny stay shut quotes

New funny stay shut quotes 👇

For even more funny stay shut quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny stay shut quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏