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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Trending via Messenger:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Just landed via Reddit:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Trending via LinkedIn:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Just shared via YouTube:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Trending via Telegram:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Reported on Instagram:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Spotted on Pinterest:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Trending via Reddit:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Reported on Telegram:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Drive like no one is watching.

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