Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Commentary:
"Negative feedback? Sorry, only the mirror gets to roast me like that! 🤷‍♂️🪞"
6 months ago
Share →: If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Commentary:
"Remember folks, if you see something that walks like a duck and talks like a duck… you might want to check your party punch! 🦆🥂 Just a friendly PSA from your local bird-watching bartender. 🍸😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you can have the riveting experience of conversing with tech support for hours without any progress 😂💔 #ModernDatingStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Commentary:
Oh, look at you, a true master of self-care! 🤣🗣️👂 Talking to yourself to get expert advice? That's some next-level life hack right there! Who needs a therapist when you've got the best listener in town? 🤔🙌 Keep those conversations interesting, you never know what brilliant ideas might pop up! 💡😉
6 months ago
Share →: A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of aging gracefully 🧓 Less small talk, more 'Can you please repeat that?' 🤔🔁 Who knew that hearing could be considered a luxury as we get older? 😂👂 #GettingOlderPerks"
6 months ago
Share →: When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Commentary:
"Ah, the secret to a fulfilling life: a sprinkle of parmesan here, a dollop of brie there! 🧀✨ Embrace the cheesy goodness and watch your days become grate-ter! 😉 #LifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Commentary:
"Hot singles in your area! 🌶️💔 They're like elusive unicorns – tempting but always out of reach. Better luck next time, champ! 😜"
6 months ago
Share →: I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Commentary:
"When you have conversations with your dog and she gives you that 'are you for real?' look, you know who the real genius is in the room. 🐶🤪 #DogHumor"
6 months ago
Share →: Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Commentary:
"Oh no, what a shame! 📱😅 Who knew breaking your work phone could be a blessing in disguise? Now you have the perfect excuse for some peace and quiet! 🤫💼 #AccidentalSilence"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the harsh reality of aging – when you suddenly become the 'old person' in the room without even realizing it! 🧓🏼👵🏼 Just remember, you're not old, you're vintage. Embrace it! 😉"