Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Just landed via Messenger:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Trending via Slack:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Going viral on TikTok:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Just shared via YouTube:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Home » Funny Tolkien Quotes

Funny Tolkien quotes

New funny Tolkien quotes 👇

All funny Tolkien quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,718

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Just landed via Telegram:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Just landed via Twitch:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m running out of people I like.

Going viral on Messenger:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴