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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Just landed via Telegram:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Making waves on Instagram:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Live now on Snapchat:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Live now on Slack:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Making waves on Slack:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Home » Funny Tough Cookie Quotes

Funny tough cookie quotes

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All funny tough cookie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Going viral on Telegram:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Trending via Slack:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Going viral on X:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Making waves on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Just shared via YouTube:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Going viral on WeChat:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

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