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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Spotted on Threads:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Making waves on Facebook:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Going viral on X:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Funny tough cookie quotes

Funny tough cookie quotes 🍪💪 bring sass and strength with a sprinkle of humor! Whether you’re facing life’s crumbs or just need a little attitude boost, these witty lines serve up resilience with a side of laughs 😂✨. Perfect for anyone who’s sweet yet unstoppable, get ready to embrace your inner tough cookie and smile through every challenge! 😎🔥

New funny tough cookie quotes 👇

All funny tough cookie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

78 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wake me when AI does housework.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,409

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

The shitshow must go on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Seen just now on X:

Netflix & by yourself.

Going viral on WeChat:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Trending via Facebook:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Shared recently on Threads:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Spotted on Twitch:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Trending via X:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

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