Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Going viral on Slack:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Breaking via Pinterest:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Trending via TikTok:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Making waves on Instagram:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Spotted on TikTok:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Funny turning 40 quotes

New funny turning 40 quotes 👇

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

0

2 months ago

40, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, older, say, turning, turning 40, wanted

Someone from 🇹🇼 has recently bookmarked this quote.

25 shares on Threads this month.

All funny turning 40 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

31 shares on Discord this month:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

20 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Just shared via Facebook:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Going bananas on X:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Just landed via Slack:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Going viral on TikTok:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Spotted on WeChat:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Breaking via TikTok:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny turning 40 quotes

New funny turning 40 quotes 👇

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

All funny turning 40 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨