Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Going viral on Instagram:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Going viral on YouTube:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Live now on Slack:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Funny turtle quotes

Funny turtle quotes 🐢 bring a shell-load of laughter and slow-paced wisdom to brighten your day! Whether you’re a turtle fan or just love a good chuckle, these quirky sayings 🐾 will have you grinning from ear to ear. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding some playful vibes to your feed 🌟, dive into the world of turtle humor and let the good times roll… or maybe just crawl! 😄

New funny turtle quotes 👇

All funny turtle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

88 shares on Threads this month:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to hell in every religion.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Making waves on Telegram:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Going viral on Threads:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Just landed via Messenger:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Making waves on Threads:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

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